Learning the Wheel of Consent
• Workshop •
To experience the full spectrum of our sexuality, we have to be able to take action for our own pleasure. In order to ‘take’, we have to find the feeling of pleasure in our hands. ~ Betty Martin
When you engage with another – whether a lover, friend or colleague – are you doing what they want you to do, or what they allow you to do? What's the difference and why does it matter?
We invite you to a 2-3 day workshop on the Wheel of Consent, a powerful tool to guide you in improving the quality of your touch, creating clear agreements and experiencing deeper and more satisfying connection with yourself and others.
The Wheel clarifies the distinction between the ‘doing’ aspect of the touch dynamic – who is doing – and the ‘gift’ aspect – who it is for.
This workshop is about:
- ໑ Waking up sensuality – feeling and following pleasure.
- ໑ Making choices – learning how to choose for yourself.
- ໑ Understanding the dynamics of Receiving and Giving – and taking them apart.
- ໑ Understanding who is doing and who it is for – because there’s a difference.
- ໑ Gaining empowerment and communication skills – noticing, valuing, and trusting desires, developing courage to ask for what you want, and feeling safe enough to receive.
- ໑ Experiencing deep relaxation and ease – nervous system is relaxed and awareness is brought to the skin.
• • • • •
The Wheel of Consent gives you an experience of four ways to touch and relate within clear agreements:
Taking for your own pleasure
you do what you want – while respecting the giver’s boundaries
Allowing another to take from you
they do what they want with your permission – while maintaining your boundaries
Serving another for their pleasure
you do what they want – within your boundaries
Accepting the gift of another’s service
they do what you want – while maintaining their boundaries.
• • • • •
By identifying and experiencing each of these four aspects, you gain clarity and potential for pleasure from a place of integrity.
Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent can only happen through a somatic experience – you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises.
In this workshop, you will:
- ໑ Learn what ‘receiving’ and ‘giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating connection and intimacy
- ໑ Find out where you are clear (or not) in receiving and giving
- ໑ Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent and the four quadrants as a foundation for connection
- ໑ Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
- ໑ Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
- ໑ Gain skills to bring clarity and heart into your hands so that all your touch is rich, juicy and satisfying
- ໑ Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
- ໑ Practice giving and receiving and experience each of the four quadrants in your body
There are many opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning, but there is no genital touch and clothing stays on in the workshop.
Who is this for?
This workshop is for anyone who is interested in learning more about themselves and improving the quality of their relationships – personal or professional, with lovers, friends, parents, children or colleagues. No prior experience necessary. For those who have been exposed to the Wheel, and those who haven’t, there are always new levels of awareness to be found.
This offering is linked to the School of Consent. The School of Consent is a training organization promoting the values and skills of the Wheel of Consent, as developed by Dr. Betty Martin. We offer courses, events, coaching and consulting for professionals, individuals & couples, and businesses. Visit www.schoolofconsent.org to learn more.
Visit the Calendar for upcoming courses.
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A Lover’s Touch:
The Wheel of Consent & Intimate Relating
• Workshop •
We all seek greater connection and intimacy. But how do we get it? Where do we start? How much is our personal responsibility and how much of the responsibility belongs to our partner?
We'll explore these questions so that you'll come away with a greater sense of connection to yourself as well as tools to increase your sensitivity and relationship to pleasure – with or without a partner.
It all starts with feeling safe. When you're safe, you can make choices; when you can make choices, you're empowered.
This workshop is an invitation for singles and for couples!
You'll be guided in learning to touch and connect – first and foremost with yourself – in a conscious and empowered way. From here, you'll learn to create agreements with yourself and with another to access deeper levels of intimacy and expansiveness.
The foundational teachings of this workshop will be based on the Wheel of Consent by Dr. Betty Martin. The main focus is on activating your hands, improving the quality of your touch, exploring consensual touch, learning how to separate doing from giving and discovering deeper layers of receiving.
Deep spiritual qualities of surrender, integrity, gratitude and generosity will unfold as you learn new dynamics related to giving and receiving. Building on this, there will be emphasis on communication and consent as well as exploring receiving pleasure through the action of taking as a foundation of love and service.
With a lover we want to feel safe and trust, to be soft, open and vulnerable, to let go of defenses and resistance – when this happens, we can let go and enter into a deep space of surrender.
To create the possibility for surrender we need integrity and clear agreements. We make commitments to ourselves, first and foremost, from a place of self-love and respect.
Through this 2-3 day journey you will...
- ໑ Understand the nervous system and how to create safety for yourself.
- ໑ Activate the somatic nervous system and your default connection to pleasure through touch.
- ໑ Use your own hands (and entire body) as an unlimited source of pleasure and connection to self and other
- ໑ Feel the difference between giving and receiving as well as discovering who it is for when you engage.
- ໑ Apply the Wheel of Consent as a foundation for relating.
- ໑ Communicate boundaries, needs and desires clearly and directly.
- ໑ Practice making choices and identify, value and ask for what you want.
- ໑ Redefine what is meant by “relationship”.
- ໑ Create relationship agreements that are based on sovereignty, integrity, respect, choice, trust and goodwill
- ໑ Take the goal out of sexual encounters and follow the pleasure.
- ໑ Stop being ‘nice’ and move beyond pleasing.
- ໑ Identify and move beyond survival strategies and shadow behavior.
- ໑ Apply these insights to your daily life with a partner, colleagues, friends and family.
Visit the Calendar for upcoming courses.
What Others Are Saying
“My wife and I recently participated in Matt and Robyn’s workshop. We discussed at length the tools and ideas we learned and made adjustments to or communication and how we make requests of each other. It has definitely deepened our relationship and opened up opportunity for more growth.”- Jeff R, Seattle, WA, USA